Matthew Me and Gina

Well here we are on day 2 of my blogging experiment.  Today I read the 1st 5 chapters of the book of Matthew.  A few things caught my attention.  John the Baptist.  what a strange fellow.  The last of the old testament style prophets.  John  came preaching repentance for sin through the sign of water baptism.  The Jews use baptism as a sign for a gentile when he converts to become a Jew..  Essentially John was saying to the Jewish people that they had to repent and become true believers again.  the pharisees would not participate because they would not acknowledge their own need to repent and saw no reason to reaffirm there faith since they were saved by their works.  Jesus on the other hand submitted to Baptism even though he himself was sinless and had no need.  He said 'It is proper to do this to fulfill all righteousness".  he was confirming John's call to baptize as a sign of what is right.  To fail to be baptized would have been less than fully good therefore it would have been a sin not too.  God the father and the Holy Spirit attended the occasion and gave a sign.

On the personal side. Today was a better day for me.  I have been going through a terrible amount of anxiety and grief for the last month  My hands are not shaking nearly as much any more and the crying has become less often and severe.

I think that I cry so much because it is a less destructive outlet than anger.  I fear anger in myself.  I make myself angry I think in order to justify myself.  I guess people just do that.  I am not allowed to be angry.  i am 6'7" and weigh 330.  I intimidate people just by breathing.  Everytime I have allowed myself to be angry in front of other people I have regretted it.  

My prayer right now is that God would help me to grow in Jesus.  So that I can get my strength and self worth through my relationship with him alone.  I don't know how things will turn out.  But I am loved by the creator of the universe.  Dear GOD please give me joy, Bless my Family.  Bless my wife.  Please forgive us.  We are sinners.

Gina-Beautiful

This is Gina.  My favorite wife.  We met at college back in 1987.  We were good friends for about 5 years and then started going together in 1992.  We married on 12/4/1993, one of the very best days of my life.  

I think I will continue a bit with Matthew tomorrow.  The Temptation of Jesus and the beginning of the Sermon on the mount await.